Managing 3 toddlers in the third trimester of pregnancy

At my 28 week OB appointment, the Dr. looked at me and said "Wow, you look awfully sane for having three little ones to manage at home." I smiled and responded with "well they're a lot of fun!"

But really, I could have gone into a whole diatribe of how I manage 3 toddlers while in the throes of pregnancy exhaustion but what it really boils down to is how you manage it. How you manage the schedule while allowing for spontaneity and flexibility. How you manage the fighting and tantrums and make-ups and sharing. How you manage the day-to-day tasks like cleaning and laundry while allowing for play time and taking breaks.

And at the end of the day, it comes down to this - listening to your body, asking for help if/when you can, and realizing that you simply can't do it all but everything you've done is enough, because YOU are all they really need.

So here's what works for me!

Establish your support system

this will look different for every household and maybe even prenatally vs postpartum. there are many factors to consider - financials, ages of children, schedules, work-life balance, etc - here are some ideas...

• designated, predictable responsibilities for you and your partner

• hired help - full/part time nanny/caregiver

• daycare

• before and after school care

• parents/in-laws and siblings

• neighborhood kids

• your own kids

• night nurse (postpartum)

Meal planning/prepping/preparing

Sunday evenings I dedicate time to meal planning. Honestly, this is an absolute must in my house. Between two kids with dietary restrictions, let alone feeding a family of 5+, dealing with picky eaters, and busyness of any given day - if I can look at the meal calendar and know the plan, it makes the day-to-day so much smoother. Generally, we all eat the same things with some slight modifications and it has truly simplified my life.

• I prep when I can or direct my support system to help with meal prep. For example, dinner - cut veggies or prepare the pasta, set the table, etc. Do as much in advance as you can so when dinner is ready, the whole family can sit down together and enjoy the meal (before the squirrliness sets in!)

• Prepare coffee pot night before

• Batch make formula

  • yes! you can make formula in large batch recipe to last for 24 hours

  • yes! my PKU'ers you can batch make formula (phe-free and baby formula mixed together in large batch)

• ready-made meal delivery

• grocery pick-up/delivery

  • LIFESAVER! I do not have time to spend two hours at the grocery store, especially with all the label checking I need to do. (Yes those 2 hours would probably feel like a vacation for me but in all reality it just doesn't work for my household). I have established lists of my go-to items, cross reference with what I need for my meal plan, add to cart and bam I'm done!

Stick to your routines/schedules

I know this can be hard, I feel like I'm not doing enough if I didn't get the kids to the park or the zoo or something out of their ordinary routine. But in a few months from now, I won't be looking back and wishing we had done those things... I'll just be happy to have had a healthy pregnancy and spent the days with my three littles.

• keep your kids routines

• set your own routines

  • set a bedtime

  • wake up earlier than the kids to enjoy some "me" time work out, read, meditate, journal, etc

  • get yourself ready for the day before the kids are up (even on your days off!)

Ask for help

Also, not always the easiest thing for me to do but I know I need the help so I can fill up my cup. This looks different for everyone. During my pregnancy with the twins, I was put on bedrest at this point (separate post all about this coming!). My husband and I scrambled to find a nanny for our oldest (and only child at the time) as I wasn't allowed to bend, lift, or exert myself in anyway. Fast forward a few months and the twins were born right as the pandemic hit so for several months we had zero outside physical help - but there was still help ... it was in the form of parents and siblings dropping prepared meals for us, a huge lifesaver! Use your support system and determine what you need to offload to make for a smooth third and fourth trimester.

• help can come in many forms

  • school pickup / drop off

  • car pools to school/practices/activities

  • pre-made meals

  • utilize other kids to help clean-up around the house

  • set a special screen time for when you need it most - feeding baby, pumping, meal prep, clean-up, showering, etc

  • set-up independent play time in a safe environment (pack n play, play pen, gated area - add a camera if needed)

  • gather some novelty toys and random things around the house (toilet paper/paper towel rolls, bowls, large mixing spoons, etc) and put in a "busy box" for an easy, time consuming distractor

Find your wins

This was a term I heard at an infertility conference and I've adopted it into my personal mantras! "Finding your wins" to me means finding the beauty, joy, and gratitude in even the most mundane, quiet, smallest moments throughout the day. There are wins scattered throughout any given day - sometimes we're just so busy and focused on the big wins (first steps, first words, promotions, accolades, accomplishing personal goals, no tears or tantrums, etc..) that we miss all the little ones.

Your house may be messy or it may be spotless, screen time was a lot or none at all, your to-do list was completed or not a single thing was checked off, the kids got outside on a sunny day or you never got a toe out the door, baths were skipped or they were bathed twice. But when you reflect back on the day, what do you remember? It will be the special moments you share running around the backyard with your little ones, laughing at the silliness of a toddler's imagination, or eating ice-cream way too early in the day and watching their faces light up with pure joy. When the exhaustion and overwhelming to-do lists kick in... breath and remind yourself to remember those special moments in the day.

Kirstie's Key Takeaways

1. Plan and prepare what you can in advance - everything from workout clothes to setting the coffee pot the night before, online grocery shop and meal planning, or making batch formulas to cutting ingredients for meals.

2. Set and follow routines for kids and yourself - I am a firm believer in the idea that kids thrive on routine. And for most adults setting and sticking to realistic habits can make the unexpected events less stressful and make for a smoother day.

3. Offload what you can or need - accept help in any form

4. Find your wins - big or small - everyday

I would LOVE to hear from YOU! I believe in collaboration and sharing ideas so we can all learn and grow from each other so please drop a comment below, on Insta, or message me!